Garrus Vakarian PI
by M.N. Arias
Summary: Garrus Vakarian left C-sec after only a few years on the job, and became a private investigator on the Citadel, and with the help of his lovely assistant/secretary, Tali'Zorah, he is solving cases that normal detectives would give up on due to red tape, and of course lack of being Garrus Vakarian.
1. Chapter 1

**Please don't hate me for this, I know I'm supposed to be writing my EE series right now, but this idea has been bugging me for months now. So, I decided to write the adventures of Garrus Vakarian Private detective, and his lovely assistant/secretary Tali'Zorah. I hope you like this chapter it took me all night to get it right in my head.**

I was walking down a dark alleyway, when a sound reached my ear, it was small, almost nonexistent, but it was definitely there. It was a sound that I had only heard once in my career as a private investigator, but it wasn't something you ever forgot. I started running down empty allies of the citadel but when I got there it was too late. A turian body laid on the ground, all the limbs severed from the body and put in the wrong places, the arms put where the legs should have been and the legs in place of the arms, and the head... well, the head was somewhere that no man would ever want to be. I saw a shadow in the corner of my vision, "Halt!" I shouted, causing the shadow to start running. I ran after it, hoping I could get some answers for this murder. I heard a crash and knew that the person I was chasing had thrown down some garbage cans to slow me down, "You won't get away this time!" I was steadily gaining on the person that was possibly responsible for the twenty murder cases that were now called, 'The ghost's handy work,' no sign of a weapon used to cut the bodies, no burns, no tears, they were just separated. I ran into a dead-end and the person the shadow belonged to, nowhere to be found, "Damn you!" I shouted.

"Detective Vakarian," a disguised voice echoed from above me, "running in circles, never finding his prey, but what happens when he does?" the voice was mocking me, and I knew it but I didn't bite, "What's the matter? Something on your thin tongue? Dying to get it off your chest?"

I was mad, no one eluded me for this long, "I'll find you Ghost, and when I do, C-sec won't even be able to recognize what race you are."

Ghost laughed heartedly at my statement, "You have to catch me first, dear Garrus Vakarian, but if you keep chasing me, what will happen to that little assistant of yours, or maybe the dame that hired you to find me?"

My mandibles flared with anger, "You stay away from them!" I shouted, "if you touch either of them, I promise you, there won't be a single crevice in this universe that you will be able to hide in!"

"Can you keep that promise?" Ghost asked me, "Oh, look at the time? Looks like it's my time to leave, Au revoir," and with that Ghost left me in the alley staring up at the artificial sky that was present in all of the wards.

"Damn it," I said to myself, "now I have to find him all over again," I started my slow walk back to the office.

* * *

I entered the office, "Tali, did any messages come in?" I asked as I took off my brown fedora and matching trench-coat, and hung them on the coat rack behind the office door.

"I got a message for executor Palin," my assistant responded, "he said that he needed to question you about this morning's murder."

"Tell him that I'm tired," I said to her, "I had a long night, and I lost the keys to the sky-car again so I had to walk."

Tali's clearly frustrated with me, "If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times," she said in a stern voice as she pointed a finger at me, "your keys are on your desk, all you have to do is clear that mess of a case, that's on it, off."

I may have been a badass turian private detective, but one thing Tali knew, was how to make me feel like I was learning how to use a gun again, "Sorry, but I keep those things on my desk for a reason."

Tali sighed then went back to her desk, I watched her for a few seconds before going into my personal office. On my desk was a pile of Extranetpaper articles scattered around it with headings like, "Mysterious murder happens in the morning," or "The Ghost strikes again!" there was one that said, "Where is Detective Vakarian in the Ghost crisis?" of course all of them were just something that some amateur journalist wrote to get his name in the papers, I didn't pay attention to them for the most part, but it was interesting to see what people thought about Ghost, and his mysterious techniques. But the one thing that would have caught anyone's eye was the giant web of conspiracy theories that was on the wall behind my desk. Each abstract little detail had some connection in my eye, and the Ghost wasn't the first one of his kind, and he wasn't going to be the last, "Who do you work for?" I asked myself as I stared at the 'Wall of Conspiracy,' as I liked to call it, I then looked into the mirror and saw myself. I was wearing a white button up shirt, with a vest and tie, a pair of black slacks and the holster for my gun that went across my chest and ended under my arm, "I think people would laugh at me, but this really fits the job," I told myself then turned away from the mirror.

"Maybe some sleep would help you," Tali suggested as she walked into my office, "You've been out all night, and haven't slept for days."

I had to admit, I was tired. I was running on tupari and energy bars, and that could only keep me going for so long, "Sure thing," I said, "maybe you can have some fun with that human you met, John was it?" I suggested.

I could tell from Tali's body language that she took the hint, "Oh, sure, let me just close up the office," and rushed out of my personal office

I nodded, "I'll see you later then," I walked over to the couch on the opposite side of my personal office and laid down on it. Within minutes I was asleep.


	2. The case

I was sitting in my office, like I did most of the day when Tali came into the office, she coughed before talking to me, "Sir," she said with what sounded like a stuffy voice, "you have a visitor."

"Are you sick Tali?" I asked with a smug look on my face, although she wouldn't be able to tell it was there.

"A little Detective," Tali said, "my...suit tore yesterday,"

"Sure," I said detective, "have the visitor wait on the couch."

"She already is."

_Smart girl_, I thought as I stood up. I walked out of my office and walked into the room where two couches were situated so that they faced each other, on the red couch that was made for most species that weren't turian, there was a human woman, red hair, Caucaiss from the looks of her face, mid-20s early 30s. She was wearing a short leather dress that easily gave anyone looking directly at her from the front an good look at her goods, and she had crimson lipstick on. I sat down on the couch, it was comfortable to me due to its stiff cushions, perfect for my turian ass.

"Detective Vakarian," the woman said as she shifted her legs, giving me a good look at her black, lacy underwear, "my... employers, wish that you investigate a certain someone."

"And who are your employers?"

"People who will compensate you for your efforts..." she paused as she spread her legs slightly wider, "extremely well."

I raised my mandibles in sort of a turian grin, "How well?" I crossed my legs and waited for her response.

"You will be paid 500,000 credits, as collateral, to make sure you do the job," the woman said as she leaned back on the couch, "and after the job is complete, you can have anything...you...want."

I gulped, as I saw her lick her lips, "Umm... what is the job?"

"We suspect that one of our employees is giving secrets to a rival company."

"Why don't you fire him?"

"Unless we have proof of his... undesirable actions, we have no reason to terminate his contract."

"Who is it?"

"We only know his first name, Feron. He is a drell."

"Is there anything else you can tell me?"

"Everything you need, is on this data-pad," the woman grabbed the data-pad that was to her left and placed it on the table that separated the two chairs.

I grabbed the data-pad and examined the data, there wasn't much, name, height, build, description, and a small backround, "This isn't much to go on, I don't even have the address at which he lives."

"Our servers were reset, and his information was lost," the woman said, "we suspect that he was responsible for this."

"Then this will have to do," she stood up, "before you go, would you mind telling me your name?"

"Sharon Barkly," she told me as she turned her body, her leather dress clinging even closer to her body, "I have a feeling we will meet again soon," she winked then went out the door.

A few seconds past, "Are you going to stop drooling?" Tali asked as she put a cup of Dextro-coffee in front of me.

"That obvious?"

"You didn't even try to pull any of your moves."

"I'll take that as a yes," I said as I looked at the door, "I think this may be my best job yet."

Tali sneezed, "Horney Bosh'tet," she whispered under her breath.

"Tali, you're the one who went home with the human last night."

"How?"

"I'm a detective," I explained, "now before I start this case, it is time for my favorite time of day," I got up and walked towards the ladder. I got onto the roof of the building I was using as my office and grabbed my Mantis, "Hello Narshela, ready for your calibrations?" I asked my rifle as I began calibrating the accuracy of the scope. This rifle was the very same one my father gave me when I entered the military, and I took care of her as if she were my own daughter.

* * *

**Well Garrus fans, he said it, he said "Calibrations," I bet you are all happy with that. Until next time Arias**** out!  
**


End file.
